My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
