i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize