I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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