Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
