Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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