I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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