Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
