If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
