i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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