I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
