just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
