Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
