We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
