every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
