my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
