my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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