All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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