May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My dick has a subreddit
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
