I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
