does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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