from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
