Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
