i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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