I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
