Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
