the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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