Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We left the knife in your bed.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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