Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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