Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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