I accidentally had phone sex last night
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
