I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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