The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
