I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
