Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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