i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
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This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same