GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial