Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
