waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
