White coat. Heels.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
