your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
