Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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