Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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