Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
