so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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