hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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