he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.