Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
His hands were made for my vagina.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.