i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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