it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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