I just threw up on my dentist
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
God, I missed his penis.
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