Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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