Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
