pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
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She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
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Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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