I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
