We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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