She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
