he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize