the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
