We won't sleep together?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
