the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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