So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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