I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
