i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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