tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
