I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
