Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
