College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
