Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
