you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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