can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
