My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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