Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
